This Might Get Deep

As I fly in this plane to Ohio, I should probably be writing my comm paper that is due tomorrow, but God has put something on my heart that I cannot ignore. I am literally uncomfortable right now because of this, and it’s not because I’ve been waiting in an airport terminal all afternoon, though that did make me want to go do something active for a while.

I cannot get over my inaction and my numbness. How can I see that millions of people are being put into slavery, millions are dying of hunger and thirst, and millions of infants are being killed and do and feel so little? Of the most importance, how on earth can I see people around me who need Christ and be so comfortable to not share the amazing truth I know? I hate this! God, damn to hell whatever is in me that is so content and comfortable in just “living my life.” I don’t have any clue what has bred this; I could put the blame on so many things, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? If I blame America for telling me that my comfort is the first priority, I feel content that I’ve at least put the blame somewhere, that I at least have realized that something is wrong with my worldview.

If Christ was and is so concerned that I as a Christian pursue the poor, the helpless, the spiritually empty, how have I become so dead to His concern? God! I pray that my heart for those around me is not satisfied until I have proclaimed your truth and your love!

I want to pursue a Christianity based in Christ. I want to know fully what the relationship with Him is, at the same time learning and knowing the beauty and truth of Biblical doctrine and theology. I want to pursue Christ in my workplace and my school, doing the best that I can for His glory, and also seek the poor and oppressed and LOVE them.

It makes me sick every time somebody tells me that I live in the ghetto of Lincoln. As if, just because the people there make less or the chances of somebody taking your wallet are higher, it makes those people any less human! Heck, if it would give God glory and somehow plant a seed in that person’s life, I would more than lose my wallet. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to be stupid and walk around asking for people to harm me, but I refuse to feel fear or a need to carry a gun around just because my part of town is rougher than most. If God is in control, then He’s not going to take me home until He wants me there.

I want to live like Paul did. The guy had so much love and heart for God that he just couldn’t stop preaching the gospel. He didn’t care if people wanted to kill him; he just kept loving and teaching. That’s what I want to be true for my life!

I don’t know where God’s going to lead me in my life. All I know is that God is going to lead me in my life. And that brings me such joy. Maybe God will lead me to be a light in an engineering business in some city here in the U.S.; maybe He’ll send me around the world to preach His word; maybe He’ll put a guitar in my hands and let me go on the road singing and proclaiming Him. Whatever it is, it will be good.

I was going to end this post by saying that “I’m going to make my life count.” But that is far from true. God is going to make my life count. And I’m excited for that. I’m excited to see Him open doors, close doors, hold me back, and push me forward. Whatever I do, whatever the cost, I seek to glorify God and proclaim the gospel of Christ. Amen.

Who Do I Think I Am?

I think the thing that I've been learning most lately is how much I hate to give up control. I always feel a need to know what's going on and why, whether it be with relationships, career plans, education, living situations, or whatever it may be. Yet if I profess to believe in a God that has a plan, which I absolutely do, I shouldn't have to worry. God works all things together for good, according to the book of Romans. So who do I think I am, telling God that I have plans and that I want to be in control? But not worrying sure as heck isn't easy to actually do. The place to start, though, isn't putting my head down and trying to fix the problem. It's realizing that Josh Roth is by no means good at solving his issues; only God is. That's the only way the control will ever be given to God, if He is the one working, and I pray that that becomes all the more true in my life.

Hear See - Uriah

I wanted to share this, because the words are just so powerful. And go download this guy's album, because it's fantastic. http://www.rapzilla.com/rz/music/freemp3s/5372-uriah-sound-of-light

"Sometimes I think I hear You, but is it my conscience, or, are You my conscience? I never know, but what I hear, it sounds like You, but I never know. For so long You were just hear say, so I never knew, it would be different if i saw You, a face to go with Your still small voice that I seem to have created in my head, unreal, but yet real at the same time. I never know. If You are the light then I've seen you, many times in fact, I imagine the movement of the light around me as I listen to the voice in my head that I've deemed You, but I never know. I believe I...I know this is You, but still, I'm never sure, I never know. But if it's faith that is telling us that though we cannot see the wind, but when the dust is lifted from the earth that it is the wind that moves it, then with that, I hear You, everywhere. And I see You, everywhere."

I love this because he is speaking raw truth. The Christian life is, and never will be, a life without doubt. If God works through everything for our good, then why wouldn't he also use times of doubt to bring us closer to him? Just as the love of God is made evident when we realize how sinful we are and the price He paid for, so also the presence of God is made evident when we have come from a place of doubt to a place of realization of who he is and how he is with us. To those who struggle with doubt: keep your head down, keep moving, and trust that, while you may not always feel him, God is indeed present in every circumstance.