This Might Get Deep

As I fly in this plane to Ohio, I should probably be writing my comm paper that is due tomorrow, but God has put something on my heart that I cannot ignore. I am literally uncomfortable right now because of this, and it’s not because I’ve been waiting in an airport terminal all afternoon, though that did make me want to go do something active for a while.

I cannot get over my inaction and my numbness. How can I see that millions of people are being put into slavery, millions are dying of hunger and thirst, and millions of infants are being killed and do and feel so little? Of the most importance, how on earth can I see people around me who need Christ and be so comfortable to not share the amazing truth I know? I hate this! God, damn to hell whatever is in me that is so content and comfortable in just “living my life.” I don’t have any clue what has bred this; I could put the blame on so many things, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? If I blame America for telling me that my comfort is the first priority, I feel content that I’ve at least put the blame somewhere, that I at least have realized that something is wrong with my worldview.

If Christ was and is so concerned that I as a Christian pursue the poor, the helpless, the spiritually empty, how have I become so dead to His concern? God! I pray that my heart for those around me is not satisfied until I have proclaimed your truth and your love!

I want to pursue a Christianity based in Christ. I want to know fully what the relationship with Him is, at the same time learning and knowing the beauty and truth of Biblical doctrine and theology. I want to pursue Christ in my workplace and my school, doing the best that I can for His glory, and also seek the poor and oppressed and LOVE them.

It makes me sick every time somebody tells me that I live in the ghetto of Lincoln. As if, just because the people there make less or the chances of somebody taking your wallet are higher, it makes those people any less human! Heck, if it would give God glory and somehow plant a seed in that person’s life, I would more than lose my wallet. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to be stupid and walk around asking for people to harm me, but I refuse to feel fear or a need to carry a gun around just because my part of town is rougher than most. If God is in control, then He’s not going to take me home until He wants me there.

I want to live like Paul did. The guy had so much love and heart for God that he just couldn’t stop preaching the gospel. He didn’t care if people wanted to kill him; he just kept loving and teaching. That’s what I want to be true for my life!

I don’t know where God’s going to lead me in my life. All I know is that God is going to lead me in my life. And that brings me such joy. Maybe God will lead me to be a light in an engineering business in some city here in the U.S.; maybe He’ll send me around the world to preach His word; maybe He’ll put a guitar in my hands and let me go on the road singing and proclaiming Him. Whatever it is, it will be good.

I was going to end this post by saying that “I’m going to make my life count.” But that is far from true. God is going to make my life count. And I’m excited for that. I’m excited to see Him open doors, close doors, hold me back, and push me forward. Whatever I do, whatever the cost, I seek to glorify God and proclaim the gospel of Christ. Amen.